He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he puts the penis in happiness.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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