she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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