He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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