I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
