Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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