Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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