she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
