Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
