she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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