My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
