I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I came so hard my ears popped.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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