My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
