Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
