Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize