Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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