***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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