You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
