wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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