brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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