Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
