My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
