dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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