Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
