Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
