2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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