I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
