Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
