I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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