All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
