There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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