He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
