with your own penis?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize