it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
