So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
