Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
