2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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