Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
