I wanna bring you to show and tell
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize