Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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