I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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