Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
