Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My vagina is very pro this idea
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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