Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
