put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Pooping to opera.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
