i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize