I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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