im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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