How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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