i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
