Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize