Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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