Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
