you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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