i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
