dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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