Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
