Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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