Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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