So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
